Antsy

Lately I've been getting antsy to do more artwork. I haven't painted in a while. I bought a new sketchbook yesterday and I've been dabbling and doodling in that. But I'm getting to where I want to throw myself back into it. I am about to go and do some more dabbling and drawing; it's too late tonight to paint. *Sigh*

One of those nights. . .

. . .where things just get to be too much, and I cry. So much I don't understand. I hurt so much. I wish I was a different person. Because I don't think things are ever going to happen for me. I feel like nobody understands, and if I tried to explain, everyone would just think I'm being a baby. But this is real. I end up begging God. I know this all sounds strange. But. . .I can't help it. I don't want to hurt anymore. I just want to be happy. But I'm never just right. Why? So many more questions than there are answers.