One Year Today. . .

My Molly Girl

I love you. And I miss you more than words could ever say.

I am actually faring better than I thought I would. If you had asked me a year ago what I would be doing today, I would have said that I would be medicated and in bed all day. In reality, I did not do that at all. I guess I'm just stronger than I ever thought I was.

2009, Post Number One (No, I am not numbering all my posts for this year!)

I know. I promise to blog more often and I don't. And I am sorry. I will try harder, I will.

Though it's belated, Happy New Year!

Things have happened since the last post. Unpleasant things. But one of my resolutions for 2009 (Under the main resolution titled "Be good to yourself") is this: I will not dwell on bad things that have happened. So I won't talk about that stuff.



Instead I will talk about what I did new year's eve: I went hiking. Well, we (my sister and I) started out on Sullivan's Island, really. We took pictures of the sunrise and the beach. Then we drove to Old Santee Canal State Park and hiked the trail. It was a lot of fun, a lot of exercise, and a lot of pictures. At one point, to get back to the main building (the Interpretive Center) we had to take this grassy (sometimes muddy) path through the woods. Now, all through the trail, there were hills and inclines. But on the path there were steeper inclines without steps and such. At one point, the path led us to a narrow pass along the steep side of a hill. My sister hated it, but oddly enough, I didn't mind it.



I also photographed a wedding on January 10th. It was my first wedding. I did it for free, as a gift to the bride and groom. I didn't know how well the shots would turn out, and I was nervous. But they turned out wonderfully, and the couple loved them. I was so pleased, and now I know I can do it! Tomorrow night I will be doing the staff photos for my church's website.



I started a project tonight that will take a year to complete. I began a 2009 scrapbook, because I honestly believe that this will be a good year for me. I have my upcoming 10 year class reunion (GO GATORS CLASS OF '99!!!) and all kinds of activities in the church. My sister took over the dance team for our church, and now I am the assistant leader (or as we like to call it, we're captain and co-captain. . .'cause were, like, the cheerleaders of the church. . .oh, migosh!) And who knows what else will go on. But I'm focused on keeping a positive outlook on everything, and see the good in all that happens.

Blessed

Thanksgiving Day was a good day. I have so much to be thankful for. Though the memories of past Thanksgivings haunted me, I'm better to have them then to have never experienced all that I have. I miss the people I used to share these days with, and I'm thankful for the ones who are still around to celebrate with. I'm also thankful for the new friends I have to share the holidays with. I hope I can share many more years of memories with them :)

Thanksgiving has passed, along with the tradition of watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with my sister and eating leftovers the day after. Now it is time to look forward to Christmas. *Sigh* Christmas trees, lighting displays, hot chocolate, family and friends :) I love this time of year.

I've been busy. There's been a bit of drama, but it's all good. There have been some other happenings, but I won't talk about that here, not yet. I'm learning that good things come to those who wait, and so I pass that on to you. Waiting is not an easy feat for somebody like me, but I'm determined. Some things are just special enough to be worth waiting for ;)

New Blog and Sites!

Ever since I painted that picture for Pastor Phillips, people have been asking me about my work and where they can see more of my work. So I started a ministry, and if you'd like to see some of my artwork, you can go here:

http://paintergirlministry.blogspot.com

http://www.photobucket.com/paintergirlministry

And you can e-mail me here: paintergirlministry@hotmail.com

:)

My phone is not working.

Why? Because we had Comcast Digital Voice installed today. And they are currently having a city-wide service failure. Talk about Murphy's Law.

Nine more days. Then I can allow myself to start listening to Christmas music.

Just blogging random stuff.

Oh. Painted a picture for Pastor and Sister Phillips (my pastor and his wife) for Pastor Appreciation Day this past Sunday:

Pastor almost made me cry when he told me, "I will always cherish it."

I've been cleaning.

Oddly enough, I did not watch this today:

I thought I would, since I now own the entire series. But I didn't. Don't know why. I guess I was just too busy trying to get rid of some stuff.

Okay. That's all I have for now. I promise I'll try to get more interesting stuff for the next entry. :)

Don't Blog Drunk. . .(Or, in my case, Tired)

It's true. I'm tired. Only got four hours of sleep last night, because I couldn't fall asleep. Kept jolting awake. And I had to go back to the Franklin Graham Festival after church, so no nap. In any case, I probably shouldn't be blogging right now. I should probably go to bed. Heh.

Funny what exhaustion does to a person. Sure, you're tired. But I mean internally. In your head. It makes you think. It makes you feel different, in the right circumstances, where temperature is concerned. There's a cool breeze blowing through my window that is opened just a crack. I have this bittersweet, melancholy feeling in my chest, and there are faint tears in my eyes. I don't know why. My mind is wandering, thumbing through possibilities. In my mind I'm continuously praying (which, I know, is a good thing). I wonder. About different things. There's a distant reminder that today *since it's after midnight here* is the first day of fall (yay!) and that the fair , which coincides with halloween, will be here before you know it (in approximately one month and one week). After that is Thanksgiving, then Christmas. . .I remember when the years didn't roll by so fast.

I miss being a kid.

But I think about the future too, wondering, waiting, praying. Wondering when God will send the right man my way, wondering if I've already found him. I often grow weary of waiting. I know he's out there somewhere. I just don't know where. Maybe I don't pray about it as much as I should. I don't pray for myself as much as I should, and perhaps there lies part of the problem. And I don't pray for him, whoever and wherever he is, as much as I ought to. My heart aches. Look, I don't expect a fairy tale. I know love and courtship and marriage takes work, and I'm willing to work for it.

Oh, I am so tired right now, and if I go any further I will sit here and cry until my face is red and blotchy, and I have gotten the hiccups. I miss people and dogs who are no longer here. I long to grow and to heal. I'm just afraid that if I stop hurting, I'll start forgetting. . .

Franklin Graham Festival: Newsboys, Group 1 Crew

My sister's birthday is next week. She said a couple of months ago that she wanted to go see the Newsboys and Casting Crowns at the Franklin Graham Festival, which is this weekend. Now, I have pictures, and I will have them up soon. But tonight we saw the Newsboys, and it was a lot of fun! We also saw a group called Group 1 Crew, a Christian hip-hop group, they were excellent as well! But when Newsboys were on, most of the songs I knew by heart. It was great to hear them live. They sang several of my favorite songs, like "Shine", "Something Beautiful", and "Breakfast". We had a lot of fun, and we are going back tomorrow night to see Casting Crowns, another one of our favorite groups. I promise you, the pictures from both evenings are coming soon! :) (I just have to remember to put new batteries in my camera!)